


I Love You Too, Goofball

by OneLonelyWriter



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: (Discontinuation or Hiatus?), Acceptance, Amputation, Clem is ok, Comfort, Coping, Flashbacks, Gen, Grief, Nightmares, This hurts, Understanding, Wow, aj pov for most, right after 404, some violentine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-02-28 07:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18751909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneLonelyWriter/pseuds/OneLonelyWriter
Summary: AJ wakes up from a nightmare about the night in the barnClem is there to tell him she is still hereHe doesn't want to let her go





	I Love You Too, Goofball

**Author's Note:**

> AJ's point of view. It's my interpretation and is a bit different from the tweeted canon. (Listen to some epic piano music for actually added effect if this writing don't do for you).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AJ's point of view. It's my interpretation and is a bit different from the tweeted canon. (Listen to some epic piano music for actually added effect if this writing don't do for you).

 

_Darkness and fire. It's always been present in my life. A reoccurring storm, but one that Clementine would always save me from. Always._

_I only remember blurry figures in my younger times, when I couldn't remember as well. Clem had told me about most of these figures; the good and the bad. She told me that it's understandable that I don't remember most of them and that it's also probably for the best. I remember her chuckling that for awhile I didn't remember her when she got me at the ranch. I found that strange; odd that I couldn't recall her: the most important person in my life._

_But even if I couldn't remember the people from my young life before, all the good and bad memories; I knew I'd certainly remember these people. The new people from the school._

_Violet who I had become close with, and even closer with Clementine. Forming something of a weird relationship they didn't establish with anyone else, both acting awkward when confronted about it. Initially she was distant, which seemed to be her usual behavior, but had quickly warmed up to us. Violet had helped us with the boat, and on the bridge, then helping Clementine get back to the school._

_Louis, the once bright jokester who had still retained some of his charming light even without the use of words. I had become close with him as well, as he usually let me in on his little games, claiming us as "Team Fun". After getting his tongue cut out, he became slightly shut in, but still kept his happy pride in sake of everyone else. Even when captured and injured, I still remember how he had rushed out to Clem to pick her up protectively and rush her back to the school._

_Marlon, the former leader. Who had saved me and Clem after that car crash and gave us a place to stay, food to eat, a new purpose with new people. He had forgiven me after elbowing him which I had felt quite bad for. But, also the one who had threatened and hurt my Clementine. The one who I shot and now his dried blood had stained the ground of the courtyard. The beginning of my path from the comfortable pull of the trigger._

_Lilly, the one who had started all of this, who almost broke all my friends. A true worth of a bullet to the head, a round of bullets, in fact. Firstly, attacking Clem with that bad man Abel as backup, threatening us to allow them to hurt our friends. Then, just coming and destroying our new home anyways and taking a few of them, killing Mitch and devastating the rest of us. Hurting us and Clem upon the deck, ruining the timed plan and causing all the events into motion._

_Then, the final kill that had almost broken me. My first real best friend who I had no choice on: Tenn. A nervous boy who was older by a few years but sheltered and no where near as hardened as any of the kids. He was an artist, passive and speaking through pictures, somehow getting me into it. It had helped and it was fun to draw and hang out with him. But I knew he wouldn't survive in this world. Tenn was traumatized like us, but that made him weaker, not stronger. I don't know if I would've done it if Clem hadn't told me she trusted me to make my own hard decisions. But she did... and I shot him._

_It was hard and I just wanted to stay, grieving for my friend. I knew I had no place doing that in the situation we were in; the pressuring horde with the distraught Violet understandably and a severely injured Clem who could barely walk. We got separated with the fence, walkers closing in and not enough time._

_But maybe it was a bad idea. A horrible one. Because only a short time later, Clementine was bitten. At that point, I wasn't sure what I felt. Scared, terrified, mad, agonizingly sad. Honestly, at that point I just wanted to collapse, hope it was a horrible nightmare and the walker somehow missed or something. That wasn't the case, because it was evident on her leg, bitten deep into her flesh. I was heartbroken and speechless, I would never be prepared for this. The one lesson Clem had never taught: how to say goodbye._

_I could easily tell Clem was having a hard time keeping her composure, knowing her time was now numbered. That soon she'd be gone. I knew she was terrified, probably having so many more thoughts and emotions running through her head than me._ _Regardless, Clem kept uttering "keep moving forward", so we did; to Jame's barn._

_Even there, walkers swarmed like moths to a flame, surrounding us quickly that we barely had time to lock ourselves in the barn. The instant we made it in, Clem had crumpled into a hay bale, looking weak and pale even more so that she did awhile ago. She was turning fast and we both knew it, to our fear. She couldn't move much and walkers were breaking through, so I took care of them as she tried her best to cover me._

_I turned back to her, taking the discarded axe on the ground. I had used it to cut open a dead walker and cover myself with it, making sure they only knew Clem was here, not me. The gun was tossed away, the clip was empty. No bullets: she didn't save one for herself. We looked at each other and I couldn't stop the tears from flooding my eyes. I was losing my best friend, my protector, my guardian, my mother. How could I find the strength to do this?_

_I recall Clem telling me sad stories about her time with her own guardian: Lee. How he protected her throughout everything and how putting him down was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She said how he had asked her to kill him, he didn't want to turn and I knew neither did Clem._

_She smiled at me sadly, no joy in it, only for my sake. Our expressions mirrored each other of fear, sadness, and some disbelief. She went over the rules she had created when she first started teaching me how to survive, which was only a few short years ago. She had told me to kill her, and leave her while I got out and I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill her, I wasn't strong enough._

_She pleaded with me as I tried to refuse her until eventually I raised the axe. Over my head, my trembling arms having a hard time keeping the weight up, as more tears flooded my visions and so many thoughts ran through my head. With force, I swung down._

_._

_._

_._

_It had hit her leg, just below the knee. I hadn't missed._

_I soon became filled with regret as it hadn't entirely cut through, as Clem whimpered in agonizing pain. She was trying to keep it down with try to dissuade walkers away and trying to not bring more towards us. She had buried her face in her bloodied hands and I kept swinging down, each cut drawing more buckets of blood to spill on the ground. I could hear horrible crunching sounds, presumably the bone and muscle being torn from the rest of the body._

_Eventually, after horrible pained screaming coming from Clem, I had cut through the entirety of the leg. It was severed, lying limply and motionlessly on the ground. The giant gash from Minerva's previous attack along with the bite were now separated from the rest of Clem's body. But it wasn't even close to over yet._

_Clem had finally passed out due to pain and blood loss, slumping down with her body still pressed to the hay bale. Her face scrunched up in pain, her breathing seemed irregular, and she looked even more pale than before. I couldn't stop the terror from rising up in my chest, my heart felt like it would explode at any moment, and my emotions became overwhelming._

_Walkers banged on the doors of the barn. True to it, Clem's screaming had brought more walkers to be drawn out from the woods and bang on the door, growling louder and louder wanting to get to fresh blood. I looked back up to the roof, where I had pointed out an exit before; but I knew after causing Clem such pain, I had to follow through and save her. I rushed to grab withering rope, ignoring the walkers' growls and grasping hands and tied a tourniquet around Clementine's now stump. I remember hearing Clem talking about using a heated blade to close a giant wound, but it seemed absurd. I saw Clem lighting a torch with the special rock she gathered before and grabbed it out of her pocket. But I had no idea how it worked. I couldn't just create a spark and make a huge fire in here, and even if I did manage, there's no guarantee I could control it or actually heat up a blade to a high temperature._

_Luckily, I didn't have to keep thinking it through as I hear something thunk outside the barn wall. I heard a shout and thought it was raiders coming to finish us off until I hear them come closer, and heard... Violet's voice? It sounded incredibly panicked, desperate and Ruby soon joined in._

_"Clem?! Clementine?! AJ?" Violet shouted into new morning sky._

_I perked up in a daze, sighing dramatically out in relief and called back out to her inside the barn, "Violet! In here!"_

_"AJ! Thank god!" Ruby gasped out through the doors._

_I heard them killing a few more roaming walkers outside the barn as I talked to them. I could hear a few faint grunts of effort from Louis as well, signalling he had also come to the rescue accompanying the girls. Violet seemed to be almost pressed up against the barn entrance door, her voice echoing in the wooden walls, "Where's Clem? Is she okay?"_

_"She's... okay. But-"_

_"But?"_

_I didn't reply as I left Clem's side to go open the barn door, untying everything and prying it open as much as I could from previously locking it. As Ruby wandered and checked the perimeter of the barn, Louis and Violet came over the try and help me pry open the heavy doors. It had budged open but no longer opened all the way from shutting it tightly before, there was still a decent gap that everyone could quite easily fit through though._

_The teenagers entered after Ruby had given an all clear: Violet scrambling in first, Ruby second just in case, and the tongueless Louis last._

_They scanned the barn, noting my walker-covered look, then searching for Clementine who hadn't responded at all to them and wasn't helping them with the door. But they easily found her laying propped up on the hay bale, still steadily bleeding from her severed leg. She was still very pale, but with a sign of hope, she hadn't turned yet meaning she was still alive._

_Ruby had yelped in surprise and horror as she skidded over to Clem's side, putting her fingers on Clem's neck then her head on her chest, looking for a pulse. I could see the small relief flood her face as she found something, but it quickly morphed back to concern. Violet had also run over to Clem's side, grabbing her hand and holding it close to her chest in desperation as she looked to Ruby. Louis stayed by my side, holding my shoulder and keeping me back from the girls. I was very displeased and struggled to be released, but Louis simply held his grip. Soon, Ruby turned back to us and ushered us out of the barn for a few minutes so she could work in peace, even if Violet was there._

_We reluctantly stood outside the barn; I who kept glancing back inside finally looked up to Louis who still had a hand on my shoulder. Louis looked back down to me and smiled. It wasn't a wide and toothy grin he often wore, but a large genuine smile directed at me. Louis finally released my shoulder and crouched down to my height. At first I was confused until he opened his arms, inviting me to a hug. And I let myself slightly break down. New tears developed in my eyes, as a few were shed in his, as he wrapped his big arms around me. I hugged him back just as tightly, burying my head into his shoulder. I never felt safe in anybody else's arms but Clem's. Now, I had Louis who I knew would protect me and Clem, and I finally did feel safe with him._

_Our moment was ruined when Ruby suddenly called out Louis's name. He let me go and stood back up, rushing to the barn door and poking his head in. I couldn't see his face and his body was blocking the door from me seeing inside where Ruby, Violet, and Clem sat. Louis quickly went through the gap while I came over, peering inside. I had my hand on the barn door, as if it'd shut completely the second I let go. My other hand was nervously clutched to my chest, like a child who was guilt and felt fear._

_Louis was kneeled on the ground, and was carefully picking up Clem while she let out a few unconscious whimpers of pain. He had succeeded and was now carrying her bridal style towards the barn door where I was peering in at._

_Louis was looking down to me in sadness, stopping in front of me so I could look at Clem for reassurance. Her leg still had the makeshift rope tourniquet but now had wrappings around the bloody stump that still bleed through. We needed to get out of here and fast, if she were to survive._

_Louis continued walking, Violet had also come out and was walking side-by-side with him now as Ruby came up to me. I looked up at her and she looked down to me. She patted my shoulder, something she hadn't tried to do since I initially bit her from when we first met, and guided me behind Louis and Violet. We walked together, her arm slung around my shoulders, offering support and guidance. She said positive reassurances to me but I could tell most of them were hopeful lies._

_What would happen if I didn't have Clementine with me? I really hoped she'd be okay. She has to be. She has to._

_We eventually made it back to the school, Aasim who was on the watch tower had widened his eyes to an impossible point and jumped right off the tower, stumbling to open the gate. Floods of questions and screams of concerns were thrown towards us, me mostly. Statements like:_

_"Is Clem okay?"_

_"What the hell happened?"_

_"Is she bitten?"_

_"Where's her leg?"_

_I slowly started to shrink into myself, their shouts and the situation overwhelming me. Violet eventually saw me doing so and pushed everyone back, leading Louis and Ruby into the building so Ruby could start working on Clementine._

_She was placed down on the couch that I was on when I got shot by that horrible man, Abel. I stood in the corner while Aasim, Willy, Rosie, and Omar came in to check on what's happening. Everyone was ushered out with only me, Ruby, Louis, Aasim, and Violet in there. After some pleading, Violet and I also got pushed out. I didn't want to leave, everybody knew that, but Ruby had said she can't help Clem with a large audience and a crowded room._

_So I left with Violet on my heels, closing the door behind us. Both of us looked at each other, clearly hesitant to go, so we just slid to the side and sat against the wall. We barely spoke, only glancing at the door which held the wounded warrior. Sitting there, maybe for a good twenty minutes in complete silence._

_It was barely morning now. The night was over, the bringing of a new sunrise. One that was suppose to be filled with beauty after the horrible storm, instead we were just left with more death and decay. It was now the end._

_So much had happened to get to this point. I remember Clem telling me all about her adventures before me or to where I couldn't remember when I was a baby. Stories about her and Lee: how he was always a father to her. She told me about meeting him when all of this first started, up in a tree-house she used to have where she had stayed until he came along. She told me how she remembered being scared, about being in an apocalypse without her parents, without being with them just like I was. Some she told about her times with him, how attached she became to him, and how horrible she felt when she had to put Lee down. I had asked her how he had died and she said bitten, but never had said how he was bitten. I remember how every time she told that story, she could never keep a straight face; it always broke when she remembered her time with him._

_I also remember her telling me about another man who was just as important to her like Lee was. How I had actually met him and she was with him, but that our time together was very short. She said his name was Kenny. That they had met together and was apart of their first group but was torn apart, but were then reunited a few years later like me and Clem were at the ranch after the New Frontier. Clem had said he became more and more broken as time went on and that had become his downfall, but she always knew he wouldn't hurt her even when the other survivors in her group said he would. When Kenny finally went overboard and was completely gone, fighting another survivor (who she said may or may not have deserved it), she finally knew it was time. Time to end him, so she said she pulled the trigger and shot him. The other survivor had tried to convince Clem to stay with her but she didn't and left with me, all alone._

_Clem had told me those were the few most important people in her life, but there were so many more that she had also lost. She had told me about a man named Luke, who she saw a sort of big brother, and he had protected her in their first encounter. How he always seemed to value her and made sure she was always by his side. She said he had drowned in an icy lake that she tried but couldn't save him from. I still remember the look of guilt plastered on her face as she told me this story._

_I remember when we first reunited, a few months later Clem had told me this story about a man named Javier. How he was one that helped her find me here at the ranch, after the New Frontier had separated us. How the New Frontier was originally corrupted and a hateful group until Javier had come along to take over, make it a new hopeful place for the good. She had sighed and told me that she wishes she could visit them again, seeing how they still accepted her when she was in her worst. That she wishes they could see her and me, telling them how much they had helped, hoping they were okay._

_My favorite and most important story though was the ones she told me about my real parents: Rebecca and Alvin. Clem told me that my father, Alvin-the one I was named after-, had died before he had the chance to meet me. But she also told me he was a good man, trying to help and stick up for her when she was bitten by the dog (to which Clem showed me the scar and it did not look good) even when nobody else would, saying she was tempted to seek help from him in the cabin they resided in. Clem told me that my father was beaten and killed by a group run by a man named Carver, she had spat venom whenever she spoke that man's name._

_My mother Rebecca, though, she had met me after I was born but only for a day. Clem said that she wasn't a woman of trust, threatening to shoot her after she showed up with the deep bite on her arm. That they had a few beginning conflicts before becoming close friends; my mother trusting Clem with her thoughts and secrets and me before she died. But Clem was saddened by her death after they had become friends. She told me it was in the middle of a bad storm, with tensions high and low food, prompting them to move quickly; something my mother was not ready for. From blood loss and hypothermia, she had grown weak very quickly and ended up dying; Clementine being the one to put her down._

_Then I thought about Clem; how she is not my real mother, but she's as close to one as any. How for my whole life she had taken care of me, feed me, kept me safe. And now I must repay her. I remember nights when it was just the two of us sleeping under the stars after the ranch that I'd wake up from a nightmare and Clem would always coax me over to come sleep with her. I remember feeling safe whenever I did that, that it just ended up becoming a regular thing even without nightmares. I always noticed that when I said I was hungry, she would give me the food even if that meant she couldn't get any that day. I remember how she had taught me the rules of survival and how she trusted me._

_I know she loves me._

_How can I lose her?_

_Me and Violet just sat and thought, both consumed by our own feelings regarding Clementine. I looked over to her and she didn't look back, her knees drawn up to her chest and she gazed intently at the ground. I could tell she was having a hard time trying to wrap her head around this as well as everybody else. I didn't blame her._

_How did we get here?_

_I sighed and looked away, turning my focus down the hall where Rosie had claimed a stop a few rooms away. Instead of going back down into the courtyard like everyone else, she had migrated to where her new owner was placed. I could see her nose twitching, probably to try and block out the strong smell of new and old blood. It was overwhelming, even for us humans. We both turned our heads at the same time to watch the door while Violet still looked to her feet. We didn't move for awhile, just all of us consumed in our thoughts._

_Until we heard a loud yelp of pain and surprise. We all jumped up in alarm: Rosie runs away down the hall quickly, while me and Violet crash into the door and twist the doorknob together, revealing the people inside._

_The smell of blood was now even more overwhelming, and I also smelt burnt flesh? I covered my nose lightly and looked to Clementine on the bed. She was breathing very heavily with irregular breaths, a hand lightly balling up her shirt on her chest. Her eyes were still closed, but her face was in absolute agonizing pain. Her pant-leg that ended where her leg was cut off was now rolled up to her mid-thigh. I looked down at the wound, regretting it quickly._

_It was charred a dark-red color, few parts leaked fresh blood now as the wound was closed off. It was gruesome. I looked down at the bed where Clem's amputated leg rested to find a large puddle of blood pooling around, some of it still fresh and leaking into the sheets. I felt a little drowsy, accidentally stepping closer to Violet when I lightly titled and leaned against her arm. I closed my eyes as I heard Clem quietly whimpering in her possibly still unconscious state, as I saw Ruby holding a burning hot blade.  I connected the pieces, acknowledging that Ruby had burned the wound closed, something I remember Clem telling me stopped the bleeding and closed a major wound. Aasim was slightly pressing his weight onto Clementine to keep her still and stop her from thrashing around too much as Ruby closed the wound._

_When she finished, Ruby took the blade away from Clem's leg and turned her head to finally look at us. After Clem had slightly settled down and stopped moving much, albeit still heavily breathing and in lots of pain, Aasim released his hold from her gently. He looked over his shoulder at us as he kept himself hovering over Clem, just in case._

_Violet who could finally react to the situation, instead of looking down, she gently nudged me off of her and walked towards Ruby, who was settled in the desk chair near Clem's bed._ _Aasim stepped in between the girls trying to calm the scared and livid Violet who just pushed past him and stepped near Ruby._

_"What the hell happened in here?" Violet all but shouted. I could see more fear in her eyes than actual anger; it seemed Ruby could also see that as she stood up, placed the cooling blade on the middle night stand, and walked to Violet._

_Placing a hand on the slightly taller girls shoulder, she softly spoke, "We cauterized the wound closed since she was losing a lot of blood. Clem's tough, I'll give her that, but I don't know what the effect of chopping off an infected wound is. She's unconscious right now and that might not be good news. She's in bad shape, I don't know if she'll wake up." Ruby looked at me as I stood there with pleading hope and nervousness, finally she let go of Violet to kneel down to my level, "You did good, AJ. Don't beat yourself up about it. But AJ: how long was Clem bit before you cut off the wound?"_

_Her tone was serious and everyone turned to look at me for an answer, "I don't know. We climbed up the rocks and walked to Jame's barn after Violet jumped over the fence." I saw Violet look down guiltily at this. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that part. Nonetheless, I continued, "We made it and she fell against the hay as she told me she couldn't get up. She told me-told me... me to-" I choked on my words._

_Ruby put her hands on my shoulders, "AJ, slow down. It's okay. Take your time. What happened?" She reassured me._

_"She told me to kill her." Gasps are collected simultaneously around the room. I continue quickly, desperately, "I couldn't do it though! I couldn't lose her. So I chopped off her leg..."_

_Ruby looked back at Violet and Aasim who just stared at me. Then looked back at me with sadness, "I see... I'm going to try and watch her. You and Violet should go out, meet up with everyone else."_

_"Wait-"_

_"I know you want to be with Clem, but I still need to work on her. I don't want you to see this." Ruby stood and grabbed Aasim's hand who just stood idly looking towards me and Violet, pulling him away from us._

_I wanted to object again, but Violet had walked forward and grasped my shoulder. I knew it was best we don't stay, she knew as well, even if we didn't want to leave. So I turned around and started walking towards the busted open door, looking back at Clem once more, and walking out. Violet was right on my heels and closed the door behind us as we walked down the hall Rosie had previously ran down awhile ago._

_I turned back once more, and instead of being met with the familiar hallway, I was met with fire. Unforgiving fire that raged on, burning down everything._

_I looked around, seeing it in every corner, every crack and imperfection in the walls. Burning, no way out._

_I closed my eyes, residing myself to my nightmarish fate._

_And the darkness returned._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Happy readings!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you read every word and are ready to read more.  
> Also, yes, I know I say "me and [this person]" and it's intentional, because he wouldn't know proper grammar. Granted he wouldn't know half these words but-  
> I know a lot of people don't read these notes, but here we go, quite a few:  
> Lemme just say I love TWD and Clementine and I'm so glad this community got to over 1,200 fanfictions. If you want to write, I encourage you to start your own story and help this grow! I'm still hoping for a DLC.  
> I just watched Lee and Clem's "deaths" and wow, I got punched so hard in the feels. I wrote this because I just wanted a coping mechanism; and come on, who doesn't like mother-son words of wisdom? I tried to incorporate as many things as possible that might be running through AJ's head and what these feelings might be (and yes, while they may not be actually thoughts of a 5-6 year old, it's still underlying problems that must be thought through).  
> Some of these are real thoughts I had, like the very emotion parts... yeah, it was not okay. What 'bout you?  
> Happy readings!  
> Also, RIP Grumpy Cat.


End file.
